


i want to hold your hand

by allegrolines



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Feelings, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:00:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allegrolines/pseuds/allegrolines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Water droplets cling to Howon’s forehead, slide down his face and along his jaw. He has his gaze lowered, eyelashes starkly dark against the soft skin of his cheeks. His lips are slick, puffy and red.</p><p>Woohyun has just come so hard he can feel his legs wobble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to hold your hand

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [InfiniteRarepairFicathon2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/InfiniteRarepairFicathon2016) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> It all started at the gym where Howon and Woohyun go twice a week. They didn't know each other at all when they first met but the never-ending tension in the glances they'd throw at each other sparked something between them that escalated to heated make-out sessions in the showers to being official fuck-buddies.  
> "No string attached" they had said.  
> Woohyun is finding it harder and harder not to get attached to Howon...
> 
> \----
> 
> I don't know if this is what you had in mind when you requested this prompt, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Water droplets cling to Howon’s forehead, slide down his face and along his jaw. He has his gaze lowered, eyelashes starkly dark against the soft skin of his cheeks. His lips are slick, puffy and red. 

Woohyun has just come so hard he can feel his legs wobble.

Howon’s hands are firm on his hips, keeping him pinned down in place. He pulls away slowly, his tongue dragging against the underside of Woohyun’s cock, from root to tip, before he releases it with one last parting lick to the head. It draws a choked off moan out of Woohyun, low and desperate. Howon looks up at him, sitting down on his heels as he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, catching a bit of come with his thumb and sucking it clean.

“That—you—” Woohyun attempts to say, voice too wrecked to speak. Howon hums sweetly, leaning in again and nuzzling into the crease of his groin; Woohyun reaches out, petting his wet hair. The tiles of the shower wall are slippery under his back, and the feeling of Howon pressing kisses to his thighs—mouth gentle on his over-sensitive skin—makes a shiver run down his spine, slow as molasses. Woohyun lets his head hang low, bangs dripping over his forehead, and runs the pads of his fingers over the arc of Howon’s eyebrows, the bridge of his nose. He takes a deep breath, then another. “Your knees—” he says, and this time he manages to push the words out— “Howon-ah. Here, let me just—”

After some fumbling, he succeeds in helping Howon get back on his feet, Woohyun’s fingers closed tight around his forearms. Howon tips forward so they are pressed together, hands coming up to cup Woohyun’s jaw. “D’you need to leave soon?” he asks between kisses.

“I should,” Woohyun replies, chasing after Howon’s lips when he pulls away a little. Howon pecks him lightly, the curve of his smile pushing against Woohyun’s mouth for the briefest moment.

“Okay,” he says. “C’mon then.”

They finish showering in minutes, and once they dry off Woohyun retraces their own steps out of the bathroom and back to the hallway, picking up his discarded clothes as he goes. Sitting down on the couch—even if it’s just to slip into his socks—brings back the phantom feeling of Howon’s tongue sliding along his, the hot, thick weight of his cock in Woohyun’s hand. Then Howon walks into the room with a towel draped over his head and the memory shatters, leaving only fondness behind.

“The parents’ board has called for a meeting tomorrow,” Woohyun says, tipping his face up so Howon can give him a kiss. “We’ll probably end up running late. Again.”

“That’s fine,” Howon replies. “I won’t expect you at the gym, then. Thursday, though? Same time, same place?”

“Thursday,” Woohyun nods. He gets up and shrugs into his coat, patting his pockets to make sure his wallet, phone and keys are where they should. Howon walks him to the front door; not for the first time, Woohyun wishes he could stay longer. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Howon says. “Goodnight, Woohyunie.”

Something in Woohyun’s chest catches at the way Howon makes his name sound like an endearment, feeling like he’s got the breath knocked out of him. He wants to hold on to Howon again, wants to ask for more—hopes Howon were the one to do so. “Sleep well, Howon-ah,” he replies.

Woohyun drives back to his apartment, giddy and dazed—so giddy and dazed, in fact, that he only realizes he’s forgotten his bag at Howon’s place two hours later, when he’s about to go to bed.

 

\---

 

It starts like this:

“Who wants to sign up for a gym membership with me?” Sungyeol says.

Woohyun stares down at his croissant, frowning at the golden perfection of its flaky, buttery pastry. “A gym membership,” he repeats flatly.

“It’s a great idea,” Sungyeol says. 

Kibum snorts, stealing Woohyun’s coffee and finishing it in a few sips. Woohyun opens his mouth to protest, only to change his mind at the last second and take Kibum’s tea instead. “What’s got into you?” he asks.

“I’m much more athletic than I look,” Sungyeol insists. 

“Did any of the pretty teacher noonas at the last inter school meeting say nice things about your arms?” Kibum says, not even bothering to hide his amusement.

Color rises to Sungyeol’s face. “It’s not that,” he says. “Well—not _just_ that. I think it could be fun, okay? And also, lots of people go to the gym.”

“You want to go to the gym,” Kibum says, enunciating each syllable very carefully, “to meet people.”

“It happens all the time,” Sungyeol mumbles.

“Yeah, in porn,” Woohyun replies, filching a strawberry from Kibum’s plate.

“Especially in _gay_ porn,” Kibum points out.

“Whatever,” Sungyeol says, rolling his eyes. “Just tell me if you wanna go with me or not.”

“Definitely not,” Kibum says. He glances at the last bite of Woohyun’s croissant; Woohyun nudges it towards him.

“Me—” Woohyun starts.

“You used to play soccer, right?” Sungyeol cuts in, turning to him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, in _high school_. Now I only play futsal on Sundays,” Woohyun says. He squints at Sungyeol. “What does that even have to do with going to the gym, anyway?”

“It’s all about sports!”

“No, it’s not!” Woohyun takes a deep breath. “Look, it’s not that I’m against the idea. _However_ —” he adds, raising his voice when Sungyeol’s expression lights up like a Christmas tree— “I'm not going to say yes. Because I know you, and I know you'll get tired of it in a couple of weeks.”

“You can't possibly know that for sure,” Sungyeol says. His ears flare red when Kibum coughs _pet monkey_ behind his hand. “I’m serious about this!”

“Well, that's good, Yeol-ah,” Woohyun says. “No one’s trying to stop you.”

Sungyeol’s lips flatten into a tight line. “I thought you’d be all about, you know—” he twirls one hand in the air— “ _meeting new people_.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Sungyeol replies. “Nothing at all.”

“I’m not looking for a hookup,” Woohyun says icily, “let alone in a gym.”

“Okay,” Sungyeol snaps, “ _fine_.”

Woohyun goes quiet, uneasiness pooling in his belly like hot lead. Since he started teaching a couple of years ago he’s made a very conscious effort to be approachable, thinking of both his students and their families’ benefit, but some people expect him to be exactly the same way outside of his job—always bright and cheerful and, for some inexplicable reason, more than willing to jump into anyone’s bed. Woohyun knows Sungyeol wasn’t really implying anything of the sort—they know each other too well for that, and Sungyeol would probably be the first to congratulate him if Woohyun were the kind of sleep around. Still, the reminder of how others might see him stings, more sharply than he’d be comfortable to admit. Under the table, Kibum squeezes his knee.

“You don’t want Namu as your gym wingman, Sungyeol-ah,” Kibum says, cutting through the awkward silence. “It’s astounding how someone who starts hugging random strangers whenever he’s drunk is actually so bad at having one-night stands.”

“I don’t hug random strangers,” Woohyun blurts out.

“But you kissed _me_ at our first New Year’s office party, and we hadn’t known each other for that long then,” Kibum replies with a smirk, turning towards him. “And before you say you don’t remember it happening, I _do_ have pictures to prove it.”

“I _really_ don’t remember kissing you that night,” Woohyun splutters, embarrassed. “And to be honest, I’m not convinced those pictures even exist.”

Kibum fake-pouts at him. “So that’s what our relationship means to you after all,” he says. “Plum wine and regret.”

“ _Kibum_.”

“Can I have those photos, please?” Sungyeol asks, looking fascinated. 

Kibum drops the act immediately. “No,” he and Woohyun say at the same time.

“Okay, listen,” Sungyeol tells Woohyun a moment later, while they are standing in line to pay. He sounds more serious now, not at all like he did while the three of them were at the table, and he’s even offered to get the check. “I’m just asking you to sign up to the gym for one month—No, wait, _listen_ ,” he rushes to add when Woohyun tries to start speaking. “One month,” Sungyeol repeats. “Just so I don’t have to go alone. And then you’re free to stop going, and I won’t mention it again.”

“Just one month?” Woohyun asks, feeling himself cave in. Sungyeol’s face splits into a huge grin.

Kibum shakes his head at them. “You’re too soft, Hyunnie.”

 

\---

 

“Shhh,” Howon whispers in Woohyun’s ear, nibbling at the lobe. His lips trail down, following the line of Woohyun’s throat towards his collarbones. “You don’t need to be so impatient, I’m not going anywhere.”

Woohyun tenses at the bite of Howon’s teeth on his skin, sighing when he follows it with his tongue. Howon sucks a mark a bit to the right of Woohyun’s breastbone, just over one of his moles, then moves further to the side, taking Woohyun’s nipple into his mouth. He’s slow and thorough, not a single movement wasted; Woohyun feels like he’s about to melt into the bed.

Their shirts are somewhere on the floor, and it seems like they’ve been kissing for hours. Howon’s body is compact and solid on Woohyun’s; his weight keeps him pinned down to the mattress, spreading his legs wide open every time Howon rolls his hips into him. Woohyun knows he could come just from this, the friction of being so close together already so good. He presses his hands to Howon’s shoulders and pushes him back a little, just enough so that he can see Howon’s face.

“Something wrong?” Howon asks, bending forward and kissing the point of Woohyun’s chin.

“No, nothing.” He moves one of his hands up, rubs his thumb back and forth over Howon’s jawline. “Definitely nothing wrong,” Woohyun insists. “I was just wondering—What do you want, Howon-ah?”

Howon stills, lips half parted. He wraps his arms around Woohyun and flips them over, settling on his back with Woohyun’s legs splayed around his waist. His hands slide down Woohyun’s bare back. “You,” Howon says, staring up at him. “You’re just—” He exhales roughly, his fingers teasing the top of Woohyun’s underwear. “I wanna look at you,” he says in a low murmur. “I wanna watch you while you touch yourself and make yourself come.”

Warmth floods Woohyun, and any coherent thought is lost in the wave of lust that washes over him, overwhelming and brilliant. He rocks forward by reflex.

“Woohyunie?” Howon asks, waiting for his answer.

“I—I need a moment.” He presses a kiss beneath Howon’s ear. “Just hold on one second.”

He’s aware of Howon’s eyes on him while he gets up and takes off his pants and boxers in one go, stumbling when his left foot gets tangled in them. Woohyun walks back to the bed—Howon hasn’t looked away, not even once—and moves to straddle Howon’s lap, shuddering at the rasp of denim on the inner part of his thighs and the skin of his ass. A part of him can barely stand the thought of having all of Howon’s focus and attention on him like this; a bigger part loves the idea of showing off for him though, revels in the fact that Howon is still partly dressed while he’s not, wants to give Howon everything he wants. Woohyun reaches down and curls a hand around his own cock, fingers loose and gentle.

He’s tentative at first, closing his eyes and falling into an easy rhythm, stroking himself like he normally would at home. But then he feels the hitch of Howon’s breath, the way his body goes taut, and Woohyun looks at him—Howon’s gaze is open with want, and the outline of his erection strains the pale gray fabric of his underwear. The sight makes Woohyun feel bolder, enough to let go of his own cock and bring his hand up to his mouth, sucking on his fingers one by one while he stares back at Howon.

“Like this?” he asks, even though he can read the answer in the minute jerks of Howon’s hips and the way his hands clench on the blanket.

“Yes,” Howon breathes. His eyes widen when Woohyun bites his own lips. “Keep going,” he adds, and then, softer, “Please.”

Excitement spikes through Woohyun, buzzing under his skin. He runs both his hands over his chest, thumbing his nipples, and then moves them lower, raking his nails down his abs hard enough to make himself gasp—then smiling when Howon’s cock twitches in response. He grabs his own cock again, this time tight enough that he hisses a breath between his teeth. His hand moves up and down the shaft, as slowly as he can bear. He twists his wrist on the upstroke, rubbing his palm over the head and smearing precome all over it, feeling it drip down his cock. 

Woohyun readjusts his weight on Howon’s lap, scooting forward a little. He keeps his eyes on Howon, staring at him through his lashes when his vision starts to blur around the edges. He moans, breath stuttering with every flick of his fingers; Howon pants under him, harsh and loud, a counterpoint to Woohyun’s whimpers. It goes on and on, seconds stretching into minutes, until Woohyun can't take it any longer, the rhythm of his strokes stuttering, feeling overwhelmed and exposed and raw. And then the pressure mounting at the base of his spine snaps, and he comes, spilling hot and slick over his own fingers and Howon’s belly.

Woohyun gasps, awash with pleasure, barely catching himself from collapsing onto Howon. He reaches out with his left hand, almost dreamily, and drags his fingers through the mess on Howon’s stomach. Woohyun sucks them into his mouth again, eyes fluttering shut briefly while he does so.

He can feel Howon shaking, can see how his boxers are damp and sticky over the head of his cock. Woohyun leans close. “How do you want to come, Howonie?” he asks.

“Your mouth,” Howon whispers immediately, not even pausing to think about it. He’s flushed red, from his ears down to his chest. “I want to come in your mouth.”

Woohyun smiles, closes the distance between them, and kisses him, as sweetly as he knows how. He pulls back afterwards, moving down Howon’s body so he can mouth at his cock through his underwear. He licks the length of it over the fabric, tracing tight little circles on Howon’s thighs with the tips of his fingers. Woohyun wishes he had the patience to pull off Howon’s jeans at least, but he just fits his lips around the head of Howon’s cock, boxers and all, and sucks hard enough to make Howon curse, the taste of his precome thick on Woohyun’s tongue. Howon bucks up, all remains of control lost, and shudders apart under him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he groans. He tugs at Woohyun, careful but insistent, until Woohyun crawls close, flopping down by Howon’s side so they are face to face. “ _Fuck_ ,” Howon says again, kissing the corner of his mouth; Woohyun presses their foreheads together, breathing in the salty smell of his skin. “I’m a mess,” Howon chuckles after a moment, wiggling a little.

“I really like you like this,” Woohyun admits, before he can hold the words back. 

Howon smiles. “I’ll take the shower first,” he says, “if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, I’ll just get in afterwards,” he replies. “It’ll be faster that way.” It will also give him some time to collect himself.

Woohyun puts on his underwear while Howon’s showering. He strips off the soiled blanket and sheets, walks up to the linen closet to get a clean set, and remakes the bed, tucking in the corners neatly under the mattress and fluffing up the pillow.

“You really didn’t have to do all that,” Howon says, voice coming from behind him.

Woohyun doesn’t turn around. “Okay,” he says evenly, “next time I’ll just lie around covered in my own body fluids.”

Howon’s snort sounds closer than he was expecting. “Most of your body fluids were on me anyway. But sure, be my guest.” He wraps his arms around Woohyun’s waist, hugging him closely, his breath hot on the nape of Woohyun’s neck. “I’m sure you’ll look great like that, all wrecked and fucked out in my bed.”

Woohyun bites the inside of his cheek. “I should go shower,” he says weakly.

“I’ve ordered chicken,” Howon says, taking a step back. “It should be here by the time you finish getting ready.”

It takes Woohyun a moment to process what that means. He finally turns to Howon. “Are you asking me to have dinner with you? I can’t really stay that long—” 

“I know, I know,” Howon interrupts. “The busy life of a high school teacher.” He shakes his head. “All those early mornings.”

“If you didn’t go to sleep so late I’m sure you could get up just fine in the morning.”

“I do get it up just fine in the morning,” Howon says, making an attempt to leer at him but only managing to look silly and goofy.

“Oh my god,” Woohyun says, heart swooping in his chest. He knows awful jokes should make him groan in second-hand embarrassment, _not_ affect him like this, but he’s so fond he can practically taste it. “Why are you so terrible?”

Howon shrugs. “You like me like this.” Before Woohyun can reply he adds, “C’mon. Shower. Clothes. Chicken.” He pats the small of Woohyun’s back lightly. “I wouldn’t want to keep you up past your bedtime.”

 _One week left to decide_ , Woohyun thinks later, washing the dried sweat and come off his body. _One more week_.

 

\---

 

“Nam-goon, may I have a moment?”

Woohyun lowers the bar of the leg press slowly, releasing his breath in one go. He sits up, running one hand through his hair and pushing it off his face. “Dongwoo-ssi,” he pants. He reaches for his bottle, finding it almost empty, and downs the last bit of water in a couple of gulps. “Sorry,” he says afterwards, “sure. How can I help you?”

“It’s about your membership,” Dongwoo says, putting his hands on his hips. His arms are bare—Woohyun can’t think of a time he’s seen Dongwoo wearing anything with sleeves, even though it was February when he started going to the gym. “I couldn’t help but notice it’s expiring at the end of next week?”

“Ah, yes,” Woohyun says. “I’m aware.”

Dongwoo nods. “You’ve been coming for how many months now?”

“Almost four,” Woohyun replies, even though he’s sure Dongwoo already knows. After all, Dongwoo is the one who runs the place, as far as Woohyun can tell, in addition to teaching the zumba and prenatal yoga classes. “I signed up for a one-month trial first,” he adds, “then got the three-month membership.”

“Good, good,” Dongwoo says. “You’ve also been visiting us more often lately, right?”

“Yeah, well. The friend I signed up with the first time only wanted to come twice a week so—” he trails off, feeling self conscious all of a sudden. “I’ve always liked sports; this was a good way to start training again. You’ve got a very nice gym, it’s—” His eyes flick away, towards Howon’s practice room— “It’s really nice,” he finishes awkwardly.

Dongwoo beams at him. “I’m glad you think so!” Woohyun can’t help but smile back; Dongwoo is probably the most positive and genuine guy he’s ever met. “As you know, me and Gyu-ssi think of this place as one great family,” Dongwoo says earnestly. “Take Howonie, for example; he has a long contract ahead. As long as our instructors and customers are comfortable, we like to have them around for as much time as possible.”

“I see,” Woohyun says.

“That’s why I want to remind you you can sign up for a longer membership of up to one year, too!” Dongwoo says. “They are very convenient, as you can imagine.”

 _I’m sure they are_ , Woohyun thinks, wiping the sweat off his forehead. He and Howon have never bothered putting a name to what they are doing, or talking about what it means or where they want it to go. (The closer they ever got to acknowledging it was the time Howon stared at him, flushed and lovely after coming all over Woohyun’s thighs, and said, “This is really good, right?”) It’s just something that kept on happening—great sex with no grand expectations, and no pressure either.

But at one point Woohyun discovered Howon was as kind as he was handsome, and also extremely easy to be around. He had told himself he could go on with their understanding without getting attached, but he isn’t so sure about that anymore. Now that his gym membership is about to end, Woohyun finds himself trying to figure out what to do; he doesn’t want to stop seeing Howon, at least not yet, but he’s self-aware enough to know that the longer this lasts, the harder it will be to step back from it. So far, signing up for another three months seems to be his best option.

“I haven’t decided for how long I’ll sign up this time yet,” he tells Dongwoo. “But thank you for taking the time to come talk to me, Dongwoo-ssi. I know you’re very busy.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Dongwoo says mildly. He smiles, not pressing the issue. “Whatever you decide, I hope it makes you happy, Nam-goon. Oh! I almost forgot!” He hands a bottle to Woohyun. “Howonie asked me to give you this.”

Woohyun takes it, turning the bottle around. He isn’t even surprised to see it’s his favorite kind of energy drink, down to the brand and flavor.

 

\---

 

Woohyun drives ahead, following the sluggish pace of the early-evening traffic. Rush hour is over, but the streets are always busy on Fridays. “Thanks for the drink, earlier,” he says. “Your timing couldn’t have been better.”

“Don’t mention it,” Howon says. “I saw you were running low on water, so.”

He doesn’t add anything else, looking at the buildings outside instead. Woohyun glances at him out of the corner of his eye; Howon seems deep in thought, the set of his mouth tight, bordering on upset. He has barely spoken since they got into the car.

“Did something happen at work?” Woohyun asks.

“Ah, sorry,” he says, which isn’t the answer that Woohyun wanted. Howon sighs after a moment, though, rubbing one hand over his forehead. “One of my students is going to quit soon. I was hoping she wouldn't have to, but her parents notified Dongwoo-hyung this morning.”

Their gym is divided in two sections, one of them being a full taekwondo dojang—that’s where Howon works, teaching the junior ranks. The first time Woohyun saw him from across the weight machine room, Howon was dressed in his white dobok and surrounded by tiny children; Woohyun almost dropped a barbell on his own feet.

“Oh,” he says. “I’m guessing there’s a story there.”

“Yeah,” Howon replies, sounding weary. “My student—Her father’s lost his job recently, and they’re moving back to her mom’s hometown. It’s just—” He sighs again. “There’s nothing I can do, basically. She shows so much potential, and has so much fun—I’d honestly pay for her quotes just so she could keep attending the lessons. But since they are leaving Seoul, I guess I can’t even do that.”

“Howon-ah—”

“I just _hate_ that it’s come to this,” he goes on, anger creeping into his voice underneath the exhaustion. “Even if there were another dojang wherever they’re going, they might not be able to afford it.”

“I’m sorry,” Woohyun tells him, since he has nothing better to say.

They get to the last crossroad before Howon’s apartment, and Woohyun turns left, slowing the car down and looking for a place to pull in. He’s at a loss for words, unsure about whether he should follow Howon upstairs, or just give him some space and get back to his own flat. It feels wrong to assume Howon would like to have him around when he isn’t in a good mood, but Woohyun doesn’t want to leave him alone either.

“Remember when we first kissed?” Howon asks suddenly.

“I—yeah,” Woohyun replies, surprised by the question. “I do.”

He’d been going to the gym alone for a while then—Woohyun’d been right about Sungyeol getting tired of it after a few weeks—and had been running into Howon after his workouts, too. Greetings in passing became actual conversations, until they found themselves standing on the sidewalk one evening, two hours after the gym had closed, talking over each other and unable to stop laughing. Woohyun offered to give Howon a ride home when he realized how late it was, and somehow it turned into a regular thing. Their first kiss happened almost at the end of Woohyun’s one-month trial—that’s what had given him the courage to lean in over the gear shift and press his mouth to Howon’s in the first place; Woohyun figured that if it didn’t go well he wouldn’t have to see Howon again. But then Howon parted his lips and kissed him back, and two days later Woohyun was signing up for a three-month membership.

“I was just thinking about it today for some reason, that’s all,” Howon says. His smile is still sad and tired, but he reaches out, puts his hand over Woohyun’s knee and squeezes it gently. “I know I’m not the best company right now, but could you—?” He looks at Woohyun hopefully. “Would you stay with me for a while? Since tomorrow is Saturday and you aren’t working in the morning?”

Howon sounds uncertain, like he doesn’t know the lengths Woohyun would go for him. It doesn’t come as a shock to Woohyun that his feelings for Howon have gone way past casual, but it still makes something catch in his chest, heavy and achy. His best option right now would be to put some distance between them, to regain a modicum of perspective. Instead, Woohyun covers Howon’s hand with his, lacing their fingers together. 

“Of course,” he says. “I’ll stay with you for as long as you need.”

 

\---

 

Kibum is sleeping on the couch when Woohyun gets home from Howon’s place. Woohyun finds him curled up around the TV remote, looking younger than usual with his face bare and his hair unstyled. He starts stirring when Woohyun walks past him; by the time Woohyun is back in the living room, carrying two mugs of coffee, Kibum is more or less upright, blinking owlishly at him with pillow marks creasing his left cheek.

“Namu?” Kibum yawns, wrapping his arms around himself. “You weren’t here last night.”

“And you decided to wait up for me?—This is for you,” Woohyun says, giving him one of the mugs. “You should’ve gone back to your apartment,” he chides Kibum, voice gentle.

Kibum makes a vague sort of noise, taking a few swallows of coffee. His eyes are sharper when he looks back at Woohyun. “I was already here, and there was food in your fridge—by the way, you’re out of fish cakes.” Kibum pauses, his nails clicking against the sides of the cup. “So. Where were you, then?”

“I stayed at Howon’s,” Woohyun replies, not looking at him.

Kibum inhales sharply. “The hot taekwondo teacher? From the gym? _Namu_.” He sounds delighted. “Good for you. I didn’t know you were still seeing him.”

“I’m not—He had a bad day at work, that’s all,” Woohyun says.

“So you, what? Fucked him better?”

“I didn’t, actually.” Woohyun sips some of his coffee, even though it tastes like nothing. “We ordered food, and watched a movie, and he fell asleep on me.”

Kibum must realize something isn’t quite right, because his smirk fades away. “Woohyunie?”

“And then we went to bed together—we didn’t have sex, though—and woke up earlier this morning, and I made breakfast for both of us. Egg rolls. And fruit salad. There’s a bakery one block away from Howon’s flat, and he went there and got milk bread, too. It was—” Woohyun voice breaks. He takes a shaky breath. “I’m in love with him.”

“I figured that out, yes,” Kibum says after a moment, leaning against Woohyun. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Woohyun admits. His heart is beating so fast he’s starting to feel a headache growing behind his temples. “This was only supposed to be—” he pauses, searching for the right word. “A fling, I guess.”

“You can’t do casual, Woohyunie,” Kibum says, shaking him by the shoulders, “you care too much for that. What did I tell you, when you started sleeping with this guy?”

“That it’d be disaster. Or we’d end up getting married,” Woohyun quotes dutifully.

“Right, exactly,” Kibum says. He finishes his coffee in one go. “So what now?” he asks. When Woohyun doesn’t answer he huffs, poking Woohyun’s leg with his toes. “Look, from what you’ve told me, I don’t think you need to worry too much.”

“Even if I want to ask him out for good?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve already been dating him for months, Woohyun-ah,” Kibum says drily. “You two sound so domestic.”

“But we’ve never talked about dating.” Woohyun says. “That’s why—The whole point of this thing between Howon and I was that it was good and easy, and we didn’t expect anything from each other.”

Kibum wrinkles his nose in distaste. “More like you felt comfortable with him because he didn’t expect you to be someone you aren’t.” His expression softens when Woohyun flinches. “Honestly, Hyunnie,” Kibum says, much more kindly, “that’s how it’s supposed to be. You don’t have to put up with assholes that treat you like shit just so that they can feel better about themselves. And even if this started as a fuckbuddies kind of thing or whatever, he could’ve fallen for you along the way. Just like you did for him.”

“I know,” Woohyun replies. “You don’t need to tell me that, I’m not a delicate flower.” It’s a relief to hear it from someone else’s mouth, though. 

“Of course not,” Kibum sing-songs. “You’re just a young, delicate tree.”

“I’m so done with you,” Woohyun says, hooking one arm around Kibum’s neck and reaching out to mess his hair even further. Kibum yelps, trying to push him away. “What’d I do without you, Kibummie?”

“I don’t know,” Kibum replies after he succeeds in freeing himself. “But my life’d be so much quieter.”

Woohyun laughs. “Thank you,” he says.

Kibum lies back against the pillows, staring thoughtfully at him over the rim of his empty mug. “I’m gonna ask you again, then,” he says. “What now, Namu? What’re you going to do? What do you _want_ to do?”

“I still have some days left to decide.” Woohyun gets up, walks up to the window and pulls the shutters open; light falls all over the room. “Howon and I—We exchanged phone numbers a while ago, but we’ve never called or texted. He doesn’t know where I live. The only reason we keep seeing each other at all is because we meet at the gym. If I decided I didn’t want to go on with this—” He grimaces. “Well. It wouldn’t be difficult to make it happen.”

“So basically… You could just disappear from his life. If you wanted to.”

“Yeah,” Woohyun says, thinking about seeing Howon’s face first thing after waking up, soft and sleepy and full of affection. He can’t know for sure how Howon would react if he suddenly stopped showing up without even a word of warning, but trying to picture it puts a knot in the pit of his stomach. “I could do that.”

 

\---

 

On Sunday morning Woohyun rings the doorbell at Howon’s place and waits, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. He’s nervous, and it’s probably too early for him to be doing this, but he didn’t want to risk driving all the way here only to find Howon had already left.

The door opens slowly after what feels like a small eternity, and Howon peers outside, wearing his glasses and purple pajama pants. Woohyun looks at him, heart caught in his throat, elation flip-flopping in his belly; if there’s one thing he can’t wrap his head around is how the Howon that’s intense and imposing on the dojang mat, and the Howon that wears soft sweaters and looks deceptively small can be the same person. Woohyun has to hold back the urge to reach out for him immediately and pull him in for a kiss. 

“Woohyunie,” Howon says. He looks startled but not, Woohyun notes, in a bad way. A wide smile spreads on Howon’s face; he steps forward and touches Woohyun’s arm briefly, like he’s trying to make sure Woohyun isn’t a mirage. “What—?”

“I thought we could watch another movie,” Woohyun cuts in. “Like we did on Friday.” He hesitates; he doesn’t really have a good excuse to be here, other than wanting to see Howon, and not being able to wait until the weekend is over. “Unless you have other plans?”

“I don’t,” Howon says, moving aside. “Come on in; I was just going to have breakfast, but I’m game for a movie afterwards.”

“Good.” Woohyun follows him inside. “I have all the time in the world today.”

 

\---

 

“You good there?” Howon whispers, hand curling around Woohyun’s hipbone. 

“I’m— _yeah_. Keep going,” Woohyun says, panting, “ _please_.” He shifts, bringing his legs closer together, and Howon groans, scraping the nape of Woohyun’s neck with his teeth.

Howon had spent the whole ride back home jiggling his leg up and down, brimming with restlessness, and still seems more eager than usual. He’s plastered all over Woohyun’s back, hot and heavy and naked, clinging to him while Woohyun lies on his side. Howon nuzzles at his hair, lays open-mouthed kisses along his shoulders. He thrusts between Woohyun thighs, the thickness of his cock overwhelming in the most delicious way. Woohyun turns his face into the pillow, eyes closed; he’s so hard he can feel his cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat, even though Howon hasn’t put a single finger on it yet.

“I’ve been wanting to do this,” Howon breathes. “For _so_ long.” 

He rolls his hips into Woohyun, over and over, presses himself snugly against his ass, and finally— _finally_ —brings one hand down between Woohyun’s legs, wrapping his thumb and forefinger around the head of his cock. It’s Howon’s left hand, just a tad slower and clumsier than his right one, but it doesn’t even matter; Woohyun jerks forward, then pushes back again, caught between Howon’s fingers and the pressure of his body. He comes in long, slow pulses after just a few strokes, Howon’s name rolling off his tongue like a song.

“ _Oh_ , Woohyunie.” Howon’s thrusts turn faster, shallower. Woohyun thinks about how the skin of his thighs will be red and sore tomorrow, and clenches around him. “ _Woohyun_.”

They lie in a pile of limbs afterwards, Howon’s head pillowed on Woohyun’s chest while they both try to get their breaths back. Woohyun’s legs are sticky with Howon’s come, and one of his arms is going numb under Howon’s weight, and he wishes they could stay like this forever.

Then, just as if he had read Woohyun’s mind, Howon stares up at him through the curtain of his sweaty bangs, and says, smiling, “Don’t leave tonight.”

Woohyun feels his face heat up. “I have to work in the morning, though,” he says.

“I know, but—” Howon says, exhaling softly. He reaches out to trace Woohyun’s bottom lip with the pads of his fingers. “You know I want you here.”

And there it is—not a declaration of undying love, but the kind of reassurance Woohyun needed to hear, simple and sweet.

“Oh,” he says.

Howon frowns. “Woohyun-ah? You _do_ know that, right?” He pauses, looking worried. “Don’t you?”

Woohyun’s mind spins— _I didn’t want to assume_ , he could say, or, _I just wasn’t sure you wanted the same thing I did_. He could even ask Howon for a more detailed explanation. But the only thing that seems important right now is how, looking back at the last months, he can see that Howon didn’t quite ask him to stay before, but never told him to leave either. 

“Yes,” Woohyun says at last. It might have taken him a while, but he _does_ know now.

Howon reaction is beautiful—he goes completely pliant on top of Woohyun, sighing contentedly against the skin of his neck. Woohyun manages to sort of hug him with the arm that he hasn’t pinned under Howon’s body, sliding his open palm up Howon’s back and into his hair. When Howon hums and noses at his throat, Woohyun almost expects him to start purring like a cat.

“Howon-ah,” he says, unable to keep the grin out of his voice. He’s so happy he could dance, even though he isn’t very good at it. “My arm is falling asleep.”

Howon rolls off him so quickly that he almost goes over the edge of the mattress and ends up on the floor. “Sorry! Are you—?”

“It’s just pins and needles,” Woohyun says, wincing when the blood starts flowing to his hand again. “Anyway,” he adds, pulling Howon back onto the bed and kissing him, “shouldn’t we take a shower? I’m filthy—” he looks at Howon’s chest and abs— “and so are you.”

“Was that supposed to be some kind of innuendo? Because it was _awful_ , Woohyunie.”

“Whatever you say, Howon-ah.”

Howon gets up on his knees. “So we’re showering together, then?” he says. “Are you staying for dinner, too?”

“I really can’t tonight,” Woohyun replies ruefully. Howon deflates a little. “We could—” Woohyun wavers, but only for a second. “We could go back to my place sometimes, instead of always coming to yours. You could stay over, if you wanted.”

“I’d like that,” Howon says in rush. He blushes faintly. “I also enjoyed the time we spent together last Sunday.”

“We can do that, too,” Woohyun tells him. He’d promise to give Howon the moon right now, if he asked for it.

“And I’ll see you tomorrow again,” Howon continues. “Same time, same place?”

Woohyun will have to sign up for a longer gym membership, now that he knows three months won’t be nearly enough. “Yeah,” he says, holding Howon’s hand. “You’ll definitely see me there.”


End file.
